Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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