I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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