i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
worst night to have a conscience
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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