I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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