She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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