I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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