Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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