Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
