We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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