Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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