I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
