Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
