I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
