where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize