2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
