Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
