ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize