As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
