I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
