The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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