Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize