I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize