Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
