i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
