he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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