Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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