I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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