i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
