I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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