We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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