as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
