I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How naked do you want me to be?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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