I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
