my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pants are for mortals
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