help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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