They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
