I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
