As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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