did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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