I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
