What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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