john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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