Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
