She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
