Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
