We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
