Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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