so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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