does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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