I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize