I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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