omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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