im about as happy as oj after his trial
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
