Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
