I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize