I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
