It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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