so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He? As in you personified your dick?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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