Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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