69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
