I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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