she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
