every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The power of my boobs compel you
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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