"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
