No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
