worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize