Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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