I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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