So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
