Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
