Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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