pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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