i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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