dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
