Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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